Hi guy just posting up a journal *sighs* god I need help or something I am sorry if this is like asking a lot or something but I need someone to talk to right now so far I have been really depressed right now like suicidal because of something happen last night that made me ran away from home and I almost just committed suicide like making myself walk in front of a car on a busy street but he stopped really quick why didn’t he hit me. This is how it all started because of my fucken dumbass brother that is ashamed of me that does not even act like a good brother and his damn bitch ass girlfriend that complains about everything and this one kid named martin that is not even suppose to be here cause he beat his dad up and knocked him out and is on the run with law I told him nicely you know like when are you going to leave and he just sits there playing my games and I ask again cause you know I thought that was pretty rude what he did so I say one more time to leave cause he has been at the house since last week and then he raises his voice at me then I go don’t raise your voice at me then he comes up then shoves me and he wanted to fight I did not because I know I would actually kill him cause I really am filled with rage right now too cause of that with him thinking its his place , I know most styles of the martial arts I told him he better calm down and all that then my brother gets mad at me and his girlfriend I don’t know what the fuck there problem was and my bro said that’s what I get when I got shoved he should be defending me *sighs*, they don’t even pay to even live there and I am only a minor and there like 19 and 20 and the kid martin is free loading also that’s another reason why I asked him to leave because he eats a lot and costing me and my mom money , I tell my bro he is all like let him stay I told him he stayed long enough and if we get in trouble with the law for keeping him there then what that’s another reason why I want him out, and then other thing my brother just fought me for no reason he told me he hated me *sighs* because I am a furry and I am fucken weird and everything and that he is a democrat and such that I really did not get then I walked out yelling tell him I to keep the damn money he owed me for the past year cause I ain’t ever going to see it then he threw a big metal piece at my leg which still hurts bad pretty brose up, and that he did not like me either because I am bi and that he does not like that kind of stuff cause he hates gays and such I just took off after that then the hurtful word I would remember that he said as I walked off is that I am a problem to the family that I should just die and go to hell because there ain’t know where I would fit up in cause I am a fuck up……………… I never felt like this shit in my life I thinking if I should go back or not I don’t know what the hell am I doing I am at someone’s place right now but I slept all last night out side which I really could not sleep at all so I just stayed up I walked a long ways then at the same time just cried and thinking at the same time If I should just give up like die or not almost did I just need help though. Sorry to post these thing like this if I dose something like irritated I am sorry did not mean to I just don’t know what to do right now, thanks for reading and if you want to talk to me thanks I just really need someone right now..